Oink oink

So I could tell you this now I don't know the last time I ate pork it has been a good 9 years at least. When I stopped eating pork I had also stopped eating beef and many other meats.

But I was not a vegetarian.

The beef situation was I dealt with it everyday from raw to cooked. And it started making me sick so I stopped eating it. Just plan and simple. The pork thing just happened one day i decided not to eat it. And from then on it became a religious thing. At this time my sister had become very religious and was keeping kosher so I Would say I Was looking up to her.

But the decision not to eat pork was something I had decided on my own.

So now I am at a crossroads which I just never thought I really would be. I always knew at some point I would eat beef again and a few years ago i went back to eating beef, but now I am trying to decide.

Do I go on with life without pork or do I start eating it again.

My family has a BBQ business so I am around pork all the time. And yes I do have my moments when I look at a rack of ribs right out of the smoker and think those look good. And i just want to sit down and eat a rack of ribs. But then i think.

Am I really ready for that, am I really ready to eat pork again.

And the next situation that has come up is me moving over to savory and trying it out. But I know for me to really learn and get everything out of an experience I have to be ready to try new things. Do I change my beliefs for a job, to further my career.

Am I really ready to start tasting pork? 

I keep going  back and forth on this situation because I am torn. I really can't even think straight about it. It's like I almost don't know what would make me happier. Because I feel sometimes if I do decide to eat pork I'm doing something wrong.

I'm just torn.